FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

My schedule doesn't permit me to have dinner with my family on Family Day. Can I still celebrate it?

Family Day is a symbolic event. It is meant as a reminder of the importance of parental involvement in a child's life. The important part of the day is spending quality time together. If you cannot have dinner together, pick another meal or activity that you can do as a family.

I am a child's primary caretaker, but I am not that child's parent. Does Family Day exclude me?

Family Day is meant as a celebration of the family-however that family may be structured. What is important is that a child has a parental figure that is actively involved in that child's life.

The 2000 Teen Survey by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University revealed that being a "hands-on" parent who is involved in a teen's life can significantly lower the teen's substance abuse risk, regardless of family structure. For example, a teen living with a single mother who is "hands-on" has a lower risk of substance abuse than the average teen living in a two-parent household.

Besides eating dinner with my child, what else can I do to help prevent substance abuse in my teen?

CASA's 2000 Teen Survey found that teens with "hands-on" parents-parents who have established a household culture of rules and expectations for their teen's behavior and monitor what their teen does-are at one quarter the risk of smoking, drinking and using drugs as teens with "hands-off" parents.

"Hands-on" parents consistently take at least 9 of the following twelve actions: eat dinner with their teen most every night; turn off the TV during dinner; make clear they would be "extremely upset" if their teen used pot; expect to be and are told the truth by their teen about where they really are going in evenings or on weekends; know where their teen is after school and on weekends; are "very aware" of their teen's academic performance; monitor what their teen watches on TV; put restrictions on the music CDs they buy; monitor their teen's internet usage; impose a weekend curfew; assign their teen regular chores; and have an adult present when the teen returns from school.

Other family activities that can reduce the risk that a teen will use drugs, alcohol and cigarettes include:

• Helping teens with homework.
• Attending religious services with teens and making religion an important part of their lives.
• Praising and disciplining teens when their behavior merits.
• Sending a clear message of disapproval to teens about the use of cigarettes, alcohol and illegal drugs.

In short, CASA has found that parent power is the single most important weapon in the effort to give our children the will and skills to say no to illegal drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

My teen complains when I ask him where he is going or tell him he has to be home at a certain time. I am worried that imposing rules on my teen will harm our relationship. What should I do?

Despite the conventional wisdom that many teens do not want their parents to establish rules and expectations, our 2000 Teen Survey found that teens with "hands-on" parents are much more likely to have an excellent relationship with their parents than teens with "hands-off" parents. Fifty-seven percent of teens in "hands-on" households report an excellent relationship with their mother, and 47 percent report an excellent relationship with their fathers. Only 24 percent of teens with "hands-off" parents report an excellent relationship with their mother, and only 13 percent report an excellent relationship with their father. Though your teen may complain about having to tell you where he is going or having a curfew, your teen knows that you impose these rules because you care.

How do I talk to my teen about drugs?

Advice on how to talk to your teen about drugs is available in the "Parent Power" section of "FYI--Family and Youth Information" on CASA's website.

Other useful resources include the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation's Talking with Kids About Tough Issues (1-800-CHILD-44), the National Institute on Drug Abuse's Preventing Drug Abuse Among Children and Adolescents (1-800-729-6686), and the National Education Association's Can We Talk? Campaign.

Where can I find the research that Family Day is based on?

Since 1996, research by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University has consistently shown that the more often a child eats dinner with his family, the less likely that child is to smoke, drink or use illegal drugs. This research is published in CASA's annual Teen Surveys, which are available in the publications section of our website which is located here. The key findings on family dinners appear in the surveys from 1998, 1999 and 2000.